You know your life stinks when...

[norman]

You know your life stinks when...

- A black cat crosses you path and drops dead.

- You take an assertiveness training course and you're afraid to tell
your wife.

- The candles on your cake set off your smoke alarm.

- Your chauffeur is on parole for car theft.

- You have to take out a loan just to get money for the down payment.

- Your children's school calls to surrender.

- The bride's family throws rocks instead of rice.

- Your wife wraps your lunch in a road map.

- Your plants do better when you 'don't' talk to them.

- All your modeling jobs are for cartoonists.

- Your engagement ring is, upon closer inspection, plastic.